Life Lesson #7

So, I mentioned in my last LL#6 how my mom and I got into an argument. Well the outcome of that was my mom forcing me to do some yard work. In my opinion, I think gardening/working in the yard is: 1) a gigantic waste of time 2) a huge waste of money 3) a useless waste of energy since all of the dumb plants die anyways. Even the perennials sometimes freeze and die because of the crazy weather changes.

My dad even jokes all the time that when I grow up my backyard is going to be one huge slab of cement. I never was joking when we discussed that.

The point is though, that after 30 excruciating minutes of push mowing the dumb lawn (I’ll finish my rant in a minute), I ended up getting a cold that has lasted for two straight weeks, and is still running strong.

Life Lesson #7- Do NOT Do Yard Work

Push mowing is a 100% waste of time. I could have killed someone. We don’t have a gigantic yard or anything, probably 3/4 of an acre. So we generally mow the lawn with the riding lawn mower and then weed whack whatever we don’t get close enough to with the rider. Well, apparently, push mowing the lawn is necessary (read as: 100%, definitely UNnecessary) so I was “given” that outdoor chore to do.

After doing the bull crap, I started sneezing and coughing. My eyes are watering, and I’ve been having a scratchy throat off and on ever since I did that stupid chore.

Maybe you are not understanding me ( although I hope you can empathize a little) I did this August 21st. Today is September 7th. I have had this flipping annoying cold for 16 days. It is getting ridiculous. And I blame my allergies I apparently have to grass/the outdoors. So the point is, I implore you, do not do yard work. It is a waste of time, money, and energy and there is the potential that you could be sick for 16 days strong and never stop feeling like crap after that dumb yard work is over.

Life Lesson #6

Ok, this was supposed to be done on August 9th. Clearly, that did not happen. But feel free to read and enjoy regardless!

So, I have not exactly had the best weekend of my life. My goal was to relax and clean up my room and bathroom. This was all fine and dandy until I came home Friday night and my mom and I got into a huge fight. It wasn’t a big deal, we are a lot alike and we tend to butt heads very often. I just assumed that particular argument would end by Saturday morning. Unfortunately, it is still quite the icy situation, Sunday night at 8pm. Therefore, the only thing distracting me is one of my favorite shows.

Life Lesson #6: Watch Grey’s Anatomy

This show is amazing in so many different aspects. The characters are dynamic and continue to surprise me, thus the relationships are incredible and keep you hoping for the best every week, and the medical situations are unmatched by any other show out there. Clearly, I am a huge fan.

Such a big fan that, I have actually done two speeches in colleges about Grey’s Anatomy. It’s not weird, I just really like this show. For my fall 2011 public speaking class, we were assigned to do a celebratory speech (i.e. toast, maid of honor speech, award presentation, etc.) I did my speech as if I was presenting Shonda Rhimes with the TV Producer of the Year award.

Honestly, this show is so amazing. I love watching medical shows and cop shows. Bones, CSI, House, Against the Wall, Private Practice, Castle, Psych, I watch these religiously!! To me, there is nothing better than a show that entertains as well as educates the audience. If you ever find yourself bored, Netflix one of these shows! I swear, you will not regret it.

Back to the point, Grey’s Anatomy is awesome. All of you should watch it. Whenever I’m in a bad mood, Cristina’s sarcastic remarks, Bailey’s endless “mothering” over the interns, Derek’s perfect hair and McSteamy’s hottness always make me a little happier. It distracts me from any meaningless arguments or annoyances from the day and allows me to fall into the face-paced world of the Seattle-Mercy West hospital.

Life Lesson #5

At my place of work, a tire store, there seems to be an unusual amount of fruit flies and regular flies. I’m not sure if it’s because we eat at our desks (probably), or if it’s because the fruit flies know I hate them (also likely). One of the worst parts of working full-time in the summer here is those dang bugs! I cannot escape them nasty little buggers.

Life Lesson #5: Kill Fruit Flies

Not only will this help eliminate a major nuisance, but killing bugs, fruit flies in particular, helps relieve stress.

Now that you’re done laughing, I am completely, 100% serious. I spend roughly 4-5 hours per 8.5 hour workday doing a whole lot of nothing. This is generally not a problem for me at all because I can very easily entertain myself. However, occasionally I get so bored that the only thing to keep me awake is killing the fruit flies.

Yes, I do oftentimes look like an idiot spinning around in my chair, clapping my hands together. BUT, I have yet to physically harm a co-worker or customer. In fact, I have not truly blown up at anyone since I’ve started working here. Over a year ago.

This is a big deal people! I can have as many patience as I want to with a person/group, but after they say/do something to really annoy me, I fully let loose and say anything and everything on my mind. Just ask my mom.

This is not to say that I flip out if you accidently bump into me or are a little slow to arrive at a location. I generally only become irritated if you are: misogynistic, trying to tell me what to do, or simply straight up disrespectful.

Each of these three annoyances happen regularly at my workplace. The point to that whole rant was that killing fruit flies gives me something to do, other than whip staplers at Dan.

And, while I previously admitted I may look foolish doing this, that is also a little healthy. No one can look/act cool, calm, and collected  24/7. Sometimes, acting a little goofy allows you to laugh at yourself. I know, personally, I laugh at myself at least twice daily. I just do weird crap sometimes.

By accepting who you are, it is my firm belief, that ou can become a better person. Ignorance is bliss. Knowing who you are and what you stand for and against is priceless.

I bet you didn’t think this life lesson would turn into an inspirational speech but THAT SHOWS HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW OF ME! 🙂

Continue doing those little things that make you feel better and a little strange at times. It’s been working for me; 8 fruit flies down, everyone here is still alive without injury caused by me, and I laughed at myself today.

Enjoy the rest of your day folks, I’ll always be here with such awesome words of wisdom. 🙂

Check out other Life Lessons on this page!

Life Lesson #3

So, on Thursday, I had to work with a particular individual that drives me absolutely insane. When my awesome boss, Suzy*, goes to get her nails done on Thursday afternoons, Dan*, takes over her position for a few hours. Dan is in a band that he thinks is just plain incredible. He basically plans his entire life around this band. Keep in mind that Dan is a 50-something, skinny, single, aggravating person. Yeah, THIS is who I am forced to work with on Thursdays for at least 3 hours. It is obviously nothing but pure torture. I have actually talked about my adventures with Dan before in way older posts, Fruit Flies, Whatever I’m Choking, and some other ones. After working with Dan, this is the advice I have for you all out there.

Life Lesson #3: Don’t Talk to Other People

While it may seem like the exact opposite of what we were all told as children, this is the advice I could offer any one on the planet. What I have learned is that if I talk to others, they either don’t think I’m funny and immediately get lost in the conversation, or they then decide to talk to me back, and I find them really annoying. Now, this is obviously not the case for my best friends, definitely not true for Katelyn, but occasionally you NEED to integrate this life lesson into your daily communication.

Clearly, this is the best plan of action that I most often choose to take at work because I try to ignore everyone. This is not because I am mean or unfriendly, in my mind. This is to save myself and the other person from an uncomfortable conversation neither of us really wants to partake in. If you really think about it, I am doing both of us a favor by not responding to the “other person.”

Imagine it like this: If you are shopping and you have to wait in a long line with other people, do you really want to talk to the Creepy McCreepster right next to you? NO. So when he says something like “Good sale on those peaches this week, huh?” This is what you do: NOTHING. Do not respond, do not even look his way. If he proceeds to try to hold a conversation with you, stand as straight and still as a statue until it is your time to move in the line. Really, you are saving both parties from the devastating effects of a poor conversation.

I, myself, at times, do not know when to stop talking to others. BTW-The first step to recovery is acceptance I’ve heard. This is me trying that out.

Katelyn, her sister Kari, our friend Nick, and I all went to Warped Tour together on July 8th. This was perhaps the best year that I have ever gone to Warped Tour. You can read all about it on Katelyn’s blog post, Vans Warped Tour 2011. Anyways, on of our new favorite bands, Shut Up and Deal, had a merch tent set up, so we naturally went over to talk to them after we saw them play.

The lead singer was talking to us about how he sang to Katelyn, we were right in the front row at front of the stage, and we laughed about how awkward that was. Then he mentioned how he’s pretty much just a regular guy until he gets a microphone into his hands. Then it’s like BAM!! INSTANT POWER. We were all still chuckling about that when my disease flared up. This disease is called, “Incessant Talking Disorder.” So, I immediately say, “Oh right. Powerful, like when you have your gun or something.” Cue end of normal conversation.

The whole point of telling that story is that sometimes we all, myself included, need to know when to just NOT talk to other people. It can be for the best.

Life Lesson #2

So, I’ve decided that this is the way I’m going to name my life lessons from now on because I have no other ideas for keeping them organized. I honestly had about the least interesting day in my life, so trying to think of a life lesson that reflected it was a bit difficult. I promise all of you that usually I am much more entertaining, at least in my mind. However, today I did go to Target after work to shop around for a few things. This is what I learned.

Life Lesson #2: Dress/Act Like A Mom

Again, in all honesty, I really do tend to behave in quite the motherly manner. This is not to say I hang out at home and knit caps or anything like that. I just happen to wear clothes that you could probably find on a 30 year old parent. This is only when I go to work, or on the weekends when I have to run errands though. I do have the ability to dress like a young adult.Today for instance,  I wore a deep purple/almost flowery loose-fitting shirt with a blue tank top underneath, and brown capris. I wore these slip on brown shoes that were very comfortable, and were in fact, my mom’s at one point. I also had my hair swept back into a messy bun with my bangs tucked behind my ears. Clearly, this was not the hippest outfit I own.

However, the point of this life lesson is that dressing/looking like a mom DOES have some advantages! While I was strutting down the aisles of Target I noticed something. No, it wasn’t that older grandmas were looking at my outfit trying to see if I escaped the nursing home with them. I noticed that people moved out of my way when I was power-walking my way through there. PEOPLE COULD TELL I WAS ON A MISSION AND QUICKLY RELOCATED AFTER SEEING MY MOM OUTFIT. I would recommend this for all of you who have ever been bogged down by the “window shoppers.” Trust me, they will maneuver right out of your way when the mom walk ascends upon them.

Needless to say, I will continue to dress in my mom clothes if I know crowded areas will be in my day’s forecast. Anyone else thinking of the perfect outfit yet for Black Friday? I’ll start working on mine ASAP.

Thanks for reading folks, have a wonderful night/day depending on when you read this. 🙂

Also, blogoal for tomorrow: Complete my VERY FIRST BOOK REVIEW! Wish me luck friends, or should I say Katelyn, since she is the only one who probably reads this. So far.

Life Lesson #1

Ok, I admit that probably isn’t the most creative title for my first Life Lesson. However, I’m getting ty-ty and I thought I would stick to my promise of posting a daily Life Lesson since I brought my blog back to life today.

Life Lesson #1: Get a Best Friend

This may seem like an obvious Life Lesson, but without my real-life Best Friend, Katelyn Torrey, I would not have been able to tell you all about how This Is The Way I Live.

Therefore, my first piece of advice is to find someone you have something in common with. For me and Katelyn, it was our sixth grade class. I thought she looked like a true southern, country girl. I instantly thought her name HAD to be Heidi. That was all my sixth grade logic would come up with at the time. Don’t hate, I was only 11.

Ever since those good ole days, Katelyn has been my best, most loyal friend in the whole world. We have gone on vacations together with each other’s families. We have gone to countless concerts together. And we have had so many funny, random, crazy, sad experiences together I know no one could ever compare to our friendship.

While that erred a little on the sappy side, the point is that Katelyn is my Best Friend without a doubt. She is forever kind and caring. And she will do anything for me in the same way that I would do anything for her. Like when Alan on the Hangover told Doug that he would kill someone the first night in Vegas, he didn’t even care. That’s how strong our friendship is.

Without Katelyn, I never would have had the patience or desire to start this blog up again. She basically set up the entire thing for me. If that’s not a Best Friend move, then I don’t know what one is. What I’m trying to say here is that while Katelyn is indeed my Best Friend, if this blog ends up being crappy, she is the one to blame.

So there you go readers. Go find yourself a Best Friend. They come in handy more often than you’d think. I doubt anyone will find a better Best Friend than mine, but good luck! I’ll be back tomorrow with more incredible words of wisdom a.k.a. words of extreme obvious-ness.